remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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