And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
