ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
