I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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