That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
