There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize