would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
