I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the condom got lost in my hair
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I love you.
Bad choice
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
