He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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