I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
