That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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