so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
