I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
