I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
