Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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