she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
