Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
