I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she looked like the before picture.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
