ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am naked and annoyed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
