the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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