Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
