yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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