Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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