it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
