Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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