So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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