hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
