1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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