Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

you made cement angels. it was a great sight.

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(207): View more from Maine

Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices

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(909): View more from California

At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains

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(512): View more from Texas

Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.

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(+02): View more from

I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods

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(440): View more from Ohio

Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period

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(315): View more from New York

The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.

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