Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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