Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
