Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My vagina just clenched in fear
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
