Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
