i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
