Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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