so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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