R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
