Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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