So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
