No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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