Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
