This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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