i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Randomize
