there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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