do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
