Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
