Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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