why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i now understand why vodka
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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