i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
