ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Drunk walkin through police station. America
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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