My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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