Someone shit on the floor
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
