last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
