i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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