I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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