I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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