Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
